§112
While the prude, with the greatest punctiliousness, is concerned for her good reputation, will not be seen in public except with her mother or aunt, this girl, with her cheerful, lively, happy, mobile, prosaic, carefree, though good-natured and compassionate nature, lives in the freest intimacy with whoever happens to be her neighbor. She wakes him in the morning, cleans and tidies his room, cares for his laundry, lets him in return polish her floor, takes his arm on Sundays, and lets herself be led to dine at a restaurant or to the theater—or, if both are without money, they stroll together through the shop windows. Meanwhile she rejoices that she does honor to her friend in her dark-blue Levantine dress, her neat cap trimmed with lace and orange ribbons, her satin-turk boots, and the splendid shawl of bourre de soie that looks just like cashmere. She lets her neighbor fetch the shawl from her bed, pin it for her under her chemisette, invites him in the evenings, when he has nothing else to do, to read to her in her little room, calls him “little man,” and lets herself be called “little wife,” in short, she associates with him without reserve and in the most familiar manner. Thus she has gone on with Gireaudeau, Cabrion, Germain; with Rudolf she begins anew—and yet she has always preserved her innocence. She has preserved her innocence not because the mysterious flame of virtue burns in her breast—no, she makes no secret of it at all: because she has no time to fall in love. Rudolf asks: “What hinders the time to have a lover?” — “What hinders the time? Everything,” she answers. “First, I should be jealous as a tigress and torment myself with the most dreadful thoughts. Do I earn so much money that I can lose a couple of hours a day in lamenting and weeping? And if one deceived me—what tears! what grief! That would set me back endlessly. Still worse if he were too kind—could I then live a moment without him? And if he left me? Consider! Ah, I can’t imagine what all might happen to me. So much is certain—that my work would suffer under it, and what then would become of me? I can hardly now, when I am quite calm, earn all I need, though I work twelve to fifteen hours daily. How could I make up the time if I lost two days a week through sighing and lamenting? You see yourself, it cannot be,” she concludes. She takes no merit from it. She appeals to no mystery of virtue in her breast. Quite simply she explains: “I have not had leisure to be in love.” And when later, for the unhappy Germain, accused of theft and imprisoned, she feels no longer mere friendship but true and most intimate love, there hides behind her love not that mystery which keeps lovers unsatisfied in their love until they have conquered one another, until they lie each in the other’s arms. “I will not think of that,” she says to Rudolf. “This is certain: I will do for Germain all I can so long as he is in prison. When he is free, there will always be time enough to consider whether I feel love or friendship for him. If it is love, well, then let it be love. Until then, I will not trouble myself about it.” Her love is pure love, love without shame, for it is untroubled by romantic dreams that excite the blood—for those to whom the glow in the breast, the fire in the veins, is the mystery of love.
[Notes for §112 here]